Story

Cassie and I wrote this together hope you like it:

"Okay, we're coming back from the commercial in five," said the man with the headset, "just act naturally and remember, you're choosing Kayla to go home." Todd, the moderately attractive man of the show, was torn; he truly like Kayla even though she was not the sharpest tool in the box. She was a kind person, had legs that went for miles, and was certainly nicer than Ashley. Ashley, you see, was already destined for the top three. This rose ceremony, and all the ones before it, were planned. Ashley was only chosen because she brought good television, she had a heart of stone, and the personality of a cactus. Poor Kayla, Todd thought, she was going to go home, unaware that this whole stupid show was scripited.

"And we're on in five...four...three...," The man with the headset counted the rest on his fingers. "Welcome back to The Bachelor, where our lucky leading man will chose one lady to go home." the host said like a wannabe Ryan Secrest. "So Todd, who is going to go home?" Todd grabs three roses, one for Ashley, one for Rachel, and one for Carolynn. All four ladies stand, asphyxiating in their too-tight couture dresses. Todd goes through the script, as planned, handing a rose dramatically to Rachel, then to Carolynn. As he holds the final rose, he looks towards the cameramen. The man in the headset is standing there, glad he's taking his sweet time. Todd looks at Kayla, then Ashley, back to Kayla, then the man in the headset. Finally, he hands the rose to Kayla. Ashley bursts into predictable tears, and runs off.

"What did you do?!" The producer, the man in the headset, and Todd are all in the conference room. "You went off-script! You ruined the show!" The producer is sitting calmy as the man in the headset is slowly losing his mind. Todd doesn't let it phase him. "What," said the producer, "do you have to say for yourself?" Todd stands up, a god among mere mortals. "Gentlemen, I have seen the true side of love. You brought me here for ratings, yet I found my soulmate. Kayla is a wonderful human, beautiful, and has a kind heart. Ashley was good for being the villian of the show, but who said we need a villian? Isn't this show about trying to find the perfect person? You only see money and beauty, yet I see heart. That, gentlemen, is all I came to find." Todd walks out of the room, and down to the stage, where the entire production is in damage control mode. Ashley is screaming for his blood, yet Todd walks right past her. He stops at Kayla, swoops her into his arms dramatically, and gives her a big kiss. "What are you doing?!" Kayla looks at Todd in shock, and smacks him. "Uhm," Todd stutters, "I love you?" Kayla starts laughing so hard she's practically in tears. "I'm not real, you moron! I'm an actress!" Todd looks Kayla in the eyes and then walks off the set. He scolded himself for thinking he would find true love on a stupid reality television show. Oh well, he can always try again on The Bachelorette.